Mom Likes to Call... For No Reason?

[LycheeMangoPineapple]

Do you guys have relatives with BPD that call for no reason at all? Because my mom does this a lot. I'll answer, and she'll act like I was the one who called her. Our conversations usually last around 5 minutes, because she often calls to say something she could have just texted, and then we have nothing else to talk about.

It's starting to get really annoying. It just puts me on edge and I like to keep my phone near me because if I don't communicate with her quickly enough she will freak out. I also told her before that I prefer texting to calling, but I guess that slips her mind every time she calls me.

[frogjumpsout]

LMP, yes, I have had that happen, and it's soooo annoying! I think it brings together their entitlement (calls but expects you to carry the convo), boundary violations (you asked for texts) and probably some other things too. I'm sorry. And then freaks out if you don't respond?! This kind of emotional terrorism is a lot to deal with, especially while you're in college. 

Does she leave a message if you don't pick up? I'd suggest considering a transcription app and texting back to the transcribed vm if so. And even if not, I'd still text back in response, since that's your preferred way of communicating; e.g., "Can't pick up now, in a class, but can text."

[walking on broken glass]

It's a form of control. She wants to know that you are available for her whenever she feels like it and make sure that you are not slipping away from her control. Choosing to call when you told her you prefer texting is also control: she shows you she does not value your wishes as a person. My sister did the same, she expected me to pick up whenever she would call. You can ignore her calls or text that you are busy. Don't let it get to you and don't feel obliged to talk to her when you don't want to.