Thank You

[Fourdogs]

Years and years ago I noticed this site as I was searching for answers in my marriage and why my past relationships went so wrong. Can not remember who told me to google Dr. Ramani. My journey to find my answers had begun. Years and years and years of learning about covert narcissism and falling into every pitfall, getting back up again and falling back into the same pitfall over and over again. Years of internal pain. Failing to learn. Fear of living alone. Finally moved out to protect myself not from physical harm but from the stress and chaos. In away the years of waiting to leave helped me prepare for a life without her. Wrote down how she wanted our lives to be which gave her total control of everything in my life. She went through a list of everything I liked in life and wanted me to give it all up. She would have total control of the house, etc. Moving out, starting me life again, starting to rebuild friendships of past friends I gave up for her and focusing on getting the divorce.
Thank you to this site and especially the person who told me to research Dr. Ramani. Everyone has their own way of learning. I just took a little bit longer. Do not let anyone change who you are. Stay true to yourself. Good luck everyone.

[newlyawakened]

Well done Fourdogs Keep staying strong and good luck with the process.

When possible do share details that you can which may inspire some fellow campers who are still stuck in the rut.

[MaxedOut]

Excellent update. I have also found Dr. Ramani helpful. In order of use for me probably were her podcasts, the two books, YouTube topic vids, Instagram posts. My ex is (I suspect and her provider seemed to agree) uBPD so some of the narcissism content was not relevant but I really think NPD and BPD are two faces of a very similar personality.