Tuning on a dime 🪙

[Dufresne]

I'm sure this has been discussed ad nauseum here. The way that a PD can turn it off and turn it on - it's really something to behold. One moment, they'll be sliming thier target with pure, face melting vitriol, and literally within seconds, they'll be their most charming, delightful selves to a neighbor who happens by, or some complete stranger. This happens in my situation with some regularity. It really hurts a lot.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I'm sorry you're experiencing what sounds like pretty bad verbal/emotional abuse, Dufresne.  I remember it from an earlier time in my life.  And, yes, impression management is very important if your M.O. is the manipulation of others to get what you want.

I had this liberating experience long ago.  After years of cutting, mocking ridicule & contempt, it started up again one day.  Halfway through his first sentence a brand new thought occurred to me.  "I don't have to stand here and listen to this."  I turned and left in the middle of his sentence.  And I've never sat through that with anyone again.  I hang up the phone or physically leave.  I'm no longer married to anyone who would do that, and other family with whom I do still have contact who used to occasionally cuss me out because they weren't getting their way haven't done it for years.  Maybe someone will try it again, but I'm not worried because I know I can protect myself from it.  As long as I stay away from physically abusive or threatening people, I have the choice to leave.

[Dufresne]

*Turning on a dime 🪙

🤦�♂️

I'm sure this has been discussed ad nauseum here. The way that a PD can turn it off and turn it on - it's really something to behold. One moment, they'll be sliming thier target with pure, face melting vitriol, and literally within seconds, they'll be their most charming, delightful selves to a neighbor who happens by, or some complete stranger. This happens in my situation with some regularity. It really hurts a lot.

[United We Win]

I've seen it!

We were going to a concert in Savannah. The agreement was that I would drive his drunk ass 'home' afterwards if I could stop at Starbucks on the way to the concert. Of note, I was the one paying for the coffee, the airbnb, the tickets, the clothes he wore, all the food, the gas, and everything else in our world...

He was screaming, yelling, cussing me, calling me "a spoiled bitch," etc because he had to drive a mile out of the way for me to get coffee. He was raging so bad I was afraid we were going to run over someone.

We get to the parking lot, he steps out of the car and puts on a "hey bro" attitude with a saunter and a charming grin as he walks up to two dudes leaning on their truck and drinking beers. Wow. I later demanded he apologize for being a total d!ck to me. Of course he said he did nothing wrong.

So disgusting
VOMIT

That was before I earned my black belt in ClusterB-defense.