Anyone delay getting married due to PD In-laws?

[Maz]

I'm just interested in others stories. Myself and my now husband were together for 12 years before we married. We got engaged 2 years into our relationship but lived together fairly quickly. We were in a committed relationship and always intended to marry but family really impacted the timeline. It would be wrong to say it was entirely their fault that it took so long but it definitely caused so many issues along the way.

When we did marry my father woo is UNarc and an alcoholic called the morning of the wedding to say he may not be coming. My now husband's covert narc father didn't come.
It didn't spoil the day but it did make me realise that it will never matter what you do they will find fault with it.

I now look back with so much regret for not being stronger and making it happen sooner.

Has anyone else experienced this and experienced the regret from letting others have an influence over your lives?

I'd love to hear from others.

[bloomie]

Hi, Maz - I applaud you for making important realizations about the negative impact these people were having on your marriage and good life together when you did! I understand the regrets and the wish we had been stronger sooner, but these kinds of destructive family systems and behaviors are not obvious when we have grown up within them. It takes time to truly see and understand and once we do, to find the right path forward together with your spouse/partner.

I am still learning to let go of the regrets and make focusing on what we do have.. which is only today, and making our lives the best, most peaceful they can possible be. Not in a pie in the sky, denying the wounds and pain of the past kind of way, but in a realistic way - one that honors the difficulties and harm that was done, but chooses not to give over one more day with regrets and over things I cannot change.