Saw ex for first time since leaving

[SeaBreeze]

Attended a family event including adult kids and saw ex-uNPDh for the first time since leaving him 2-1/2 years ago. Things felt a bit awkward and tense at first, but I stayed medium chill while ex remained terse but polite. Mainly I focused on the event and the reason for being there. Ex and I did lighten up a little with warm, pleasant conversation about our adult kids and other family members. One kid told me afterward they appreciated how well ex and I both handled things, and I'm happy ex and I both modeled that for our kids. I will confess I was very stressed beforehand and considered skipping the event but glad I went. And, I'll totally confess that in spite of our polite detachment, I still felt some of that old pull toward ex, and a little touch of Guilt (the G in FOG). It took me the next few days to process what exactly was the "attraction" I felt when there's NONE, or what exactly did I have to feel guilty for? But I quickly recovered. It was a good practice run for future eventual encounters with ex. I will certainly not seek such events out! But know I can confidently navigate them as they arise.

[IsleOfSong]

Wow, that's a nice long period you went without seeing him. Glad it was cordial — and that you have the internal strength to be curious about that "old pull" without actually getting pulled back. Great update!

[escapingman]

Well done SeaBreeze, I have only seen my ex for a brief moment when collecting DD2 for a holiday. I am avoiding her as a protection of myself as I don't know how my nervous system would react. It was an event at school a while ago, I didn't really want to attend as it wasn't important but my nervous system told me to stay away as I started getting anxious about going. I know I will have to see her at some point, but I rather that be in a distant future.
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