Hello from a confused adult child of a widowed uBPD

[Username]

Hello all - I am a middle-aged adult child of an uBPD widowed mother. She is an absolute master of playing the victim role while she is subtly (& sometimes not so subtly) being cruel. It has been hard to know what it looks like to honor her as my Mother and as a widow while also keeping some distance from her. I'm here to learn and ask questions.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group-

something I had to learn on my journey is I don't HAVE to honor people that don't hold me in esteem back.

for many folks here, boundaries have helped them find that middle path between becoming a doormat and having a distanced, more healthy relationship with a parent.  I actually use some of the boundaries I learned to make here daily on the job- so they are helpful in ALL relationships, not just ones with people who may be PD.

see you on the boards!

[bloomie]

Adding a warm welcome to you! I am glad you have joined the community there is a wealth of knowledge and resources here!

It becomes important to define for ourselves what honoring our parents, or anyone else really, means and looks like for us. Especially in relationships where the other person may be highly manipulative.