Constantly Sleeping!

[Juju]

My partner is constantly sleeping, he is on lots of meds anxiety meds high blood pressure beta blocker, on and on, the only thing that bugs me is he is up half the night on his phone doesn't sleep well but he never gets up in the morning and sleeps till noon or after.  After going out or just at home he goes in for a nap, while I'm up and go to bed at a normal hour sleep at night and get up in the morning, he has had a weird sleeping pattern his whole life but I find it abnormal, annoying and just don't get someone who has little or no energy.  It is hard to live with but he does do a lot when he is awake ... lol but the constant napping and weird sleeping habits drives me nuts!!  This has been an ongoing thing since we have been together, my late Mom said to me when I was talking about breaking up with him a few years into our relationship (she liked him a lot) told me "well dear if you want to watch him sleep for the rest of your life", well here I am 9 years later still watching him sleep!!!!! Any advise on how to get him going!!!

[Rebel13]

Hi Juju, honestly, I think this is one for him to figure out. I do hear your annoyance. My partner has/has had some similar sleep patterns, and sometimes I feel kind of abandoned when I'm left alone during the times I'm awake, especially if it's a "normal" time to be awake and my partner is sleeping. I feel like my feelings of abandonment or annoyance are mine to deal with, however. I'm learning to not wait around if I'm ready to get up and get going and do stuff. I am trying to get comfortable with and motivate myself to do more things on my own. People do have different sleep preferences, needs and challenges so I work on being generous and kind about it and not taking my feelings out on my partner. The only caveat I would add is, if you are sleeping in the same space and his habits disturb you, you could consider sleeping separately.

[Juju]

Good advise and I do this (do my own thing) but my late husband was always a morning person, got me coffee and took the dog for a walk and this partner I'm with now is so so so different. Its hard but it's OK.

[1footouttadefog]

My advice is to live your life without him of he decides to stay in bed all of the time.  Practice self care, go for walks, work with integrity, take in music, art, lectures, enjoy hobbies and activities, cook interesting things and enjoy them, and on and so forth.  He will either join you or he won't.  If you get sick of being alone that is your choice, and you alone get to make that call.   But you cannot force him, you can only decide of what he is offering is enough or not. 

[Cascade]

My pd husband has always slept a lot, even when he was in his 20's. It used to annoy me, especially when our kids were young and we had to wait for my husband to have a nap before we did anything in the afternoon. Now I view his extra time sleeping as a bit of a break for me.

[Juju]

I have to say I enjoy his napping time, although sometimes it is annoying!  When he is not napping he is all consuming "come see this", or he is on the phone, constantly talking when he is awake, except when he is on his phone which is a lot of the time.  I wake up at night and see the bright light, then I'll roll over an hour later and see the light again, it is no wonder he sleeps during the day so I tell him, but the thing is it has changed my clock as I can't even get going during the day till 2:00 ish as I am getting up later (not 2:00 but 9:00 or 10:00) he doesn't seem to care about missing out on life!!