Post-Holiday "What do I do now?"

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I am so disappointed!  It's been going on for some years.  This perfectly wonderful, smart, funny, kind, talented close family member whom I always had a great relationship with turned themselves into a shell, a puppet, a FM for their narc. 

There used to be interludes of one-on-ones here and there that would reveal some scraps of the pre-brainwashed person and their desire to share longstanding common interests & ideas with each other.  But that was never okay with uNPD and it seems to have been completely purged now. 

The PD treachery inflicted on me & others by my FOO and spouse, and on other whole families, groups, even countries is just sickening. Thank God for a site like this that shows a way out.

What to do now?  Lay low and allow more distance?  Try less?  How long should I keep trying before I just totally give up and stop (while leaving the door open to them if they should want contact)?  Just accept it as a loss and pray it may one day change while not expecting it to ever?  I find it very hard to come to terms with and, though it's not at all helpful, I do resent the damage the uPD has done. 

[walking on broken glass]

I am sorry you are experiencing this, Looking to be free. It's a very personal decision how to react; it depends on your energy reserves. I personally have run out of patience with flying monkeys, and I am hurt by their clinginess to distorted forms of reality and their allegiance with PD family members against those of us who suffer. I would keep my distance. If they ever got Out of the FOG and wanted to make amends, I would be cautiously optimistic.

[Rebel13]

I am sorry you are experiencing this, Looking to be free. It's a very personal decision how to react; it depends on your energy reserves. I personally have run out of patience with flying monkeys, and I am hurt by their clinginess to distorted forms of reality and their allegiance with PD family members against those of us who suffer. I would keep my distance. If they ever got Out of the FOG and wanted to make amends, I would be cautiously optimistic.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Thanks, WOBG and Rebel.  I guess I don't have to see this as a binary choice.  I can let my foot up some off the "keep trying" pedal.  Just making a change like that affects the whole system.  Who knows how they would react, but my business is about doing what I think is right and taking care of myself.  There is something in me that is ready to just let go in all kinds of ways, some of which don't even have to do with this. The thought of it feels very freeing.