Trying to leave a fragile BPD discard phase

[quietcompaction]

Hi everyone,

 I hate that I have to be here, but I am grateful you are all here and this place exists. I am attempting to leave my partner who is diagnosed BPD fragile type and a sex/porn addict who has relapsed and ALSO is doing some crazy machiavellian level DARVO where he has convinced himself that I am the abuser and he is the victim. Lots of gaslighting and rewriting history. It is getting scary. I am pretty isolated and I do not know how to handle this.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group @quietcompaction -  it takes a lot of courage to make the first move to make big decisions about ending a relationship even in the best of break up circumstances. 

since you have expressed that you are scared and isolated it may be wise to contact the domestic violence hotline in your area.  I say this as a person who was in a DV relationship who almost caught charges because of the way my ex was able to manipulate others the last time the police were called on us for one of our altercations. 

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://www.thehotline.org/

please also make sure you are browsing from a safe place and if there is any chance of your partner seeing your search history; clear it out to keep yourself safe

I am 19 years out and it is possible to rebuild- it just takes that big first step like making a post and then baby steps the rest of the way,  it won't be easy and on some days it will be like 2 steps forward, 3 steps back- but your peace and safety are there for you on the other side of this.

when you are ready to share more we are listening

[Rebel13]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. There are wonderful, helpful people here who will have suggestions for you when you feel like sharing more about what kind of support you need the most. I fully second xredshoesx suggestion to contact domestic violence help services. They can help you make an exit plan and connect you with other services you might need while you work through this.

All the best to you, and wishing you peace and freedom.