Thoughts about my therapist

[mary_poppins]

Hi all. I finally started trauma therapy and it was ok. We do IFS and the T is also helping me process emotions that arrive in the body. Which is great.

However, I have some doubts about her. I only saw her two times but the last time we met there was a bit of disconnection.

So we were talking about dream careers and career changes. I want to find a career I love and not work just to pay the bills. I am miserable at my job now and am waiting for the moment until I switch to another position. Anyway, as we were talking, I told her I'd like to do something at the computer in an office.
Copywriting, IT or admin any job that involves technology, the computer and working creatively.
She said that those jobs are not like I imagine them because it's not nice to sit in a chair all day or in in office. (before she became a T, she was in law so I imagine she'd sit a lot).
Then I told her I might want to work in addiction/mental health field but working with people is hard for e because I've done it all my life.

And she started being excited when I told her about addiction and was weirdly encouraging me to pursue this. I kept telling her I wasn't sure and it's not a long-term job if I was to work in addiction but she kept pushing.

Then I realized she was pushing me to choose something that she might like and not considering my needs (not having to work with people who are 'patients' or in recovery)-which is unethical. The client needs to come to their own conclusion about a certain topic and not pushed to draw conclusions by the T.

She also told me a few things I was doing immediately based on her past experience (eg doing things unconsciously to please my mother) and that wasn't too nice. It felt like she dropped the answers to my inner struggles in my lap really fast.

I also expressed the need to be in a career that is more creative..but then she said those jobs could be replaced by AI. What? There are creative jobs that will never be replaced by AI. Even IT workers say it will take many years until junior web developers will be completely replaced by robots (or even ALL developers).

On a positive side, she is very kind and empathetic and she taught me a few things about IFS and showed me how to connect with some of my parts. She explained how IFS works but I didn't totally get it (I need to read more about it). Any thoughts about what I just wrote? I trust your opinion.

[walking on broken glass]

Hi Mary Poppins,
It seems to me that your therapist let her own preferences dictate her response about your career change instead of staying with your experience and giving you space to explore it. To an extent it's inevitable that personal views will slip in but a good therapist who has worked on their self awareness will refrain from encouraging/dissuading clients; it's the client's choice and the client's journey to land on what is best for them. It would have been better if she had disclosed a bit about herself and openly acknowledged her biases before offering advice.
If you like her and you think there is value in her approach, you could discuss this with her in your next session, that you felt she was pushing you to a direction you were not ready to take. Her response will help you determine how to proceed.

[NarcKiddo]

The relationship is pretty new. Is she a fairly new therapist also? Personally, unless you have any big concerns or red flags, I would maybe raise the issue with her next time, and indeed perhaps agree to keep off areas where she might be tempted to act as life coach. You need her to be a therapist, seems to me.

I know several people with trauma who have found IFS very helpful. I personally find it a bit prescriptive, with all the different roles for parts. But I do find the theory of parts very resonant and relevant to me. If you are finding the theory of IFS a bit of a challenge you might find books by Janina Fisher to be helpful. She has a somewhat different approach but it may make some things clear in a roundabout way that you can apply to your understanding of IFS.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

This doesn't sound like the IFS I've been exposed to.  I wonder if she's certified.  Some T's are just picking up ideas from it but not actually professionally trained or doing it. You can see demos on YouTube done by Richard Schwartz or look at his book "No Bad Parts." I found it's not like talk therapy and very much led by the client's inner wisdom, called "Self."

What I find helpful is being with a T who helps me navigate my own heart and soul. Who's attuned to what's going on in me. There's such a range of mediocre to outstanding when it comes to T's.  I hope you get some clarity about your situation and what's right for you!