Almost one year.

[Ann]

June will be one year since divorce. I was what I call " on the run" for 6 months after having to leave to avoid the yelling and stress.
I was able to purchase a new house and I now live alone. Thankfully we are no contact.
I have never been happier! The peace I feel is priceless. I have reconnected with friends and family that I became isolated from. Many are shocked at how bad it was. I haven't even shared the really bad behavior so that says alot.
Just enough for them to understand that I don't want updates or anything shared about me with ex.

Anyway I want to thank you all for your help and guidance. This forum was so helpful in keeping me focused to get out. It was all so worth it. My nervous system is calming down and I am finally free!

[MaxedOut]

I was wondering how things were going with you, Ann. It's great to read this update - you experience sounds similar (minus staying/leaving the house). The reconnection is awesome. The peace is priceless. And sharing some of stuff kept secret so long is like exhaling and shedding a heavy backpack. I also needed to go no contact though I get occasional updates from a sibling of hers (who checks in about whether I want/don't want to know and remains  someone who I value having in my life).

I am a bit more than a year post divorce and about 18 months post-separation. The other thing I have found is is seems like much longer since the split and divorce than the calendar might indicate. Having so much good and calm and fulfilling activities has made it feel like more time has passed. The nervous system healing is so profound.

I just started dipping my toe a bit in dating and am taking things slow and intentional, and, as expected, finding some nervous system wonkiness. When/if you get there or are already there, I recommend Burned Haystack Dating Method. it's written with an intended audience of straight women seeking partners through dating apps, but I have found it is also pretty great for saphics not looking for partners (but with a gnawing sense of "strange danger" from the marriage). It really delves into rhetorical patterns that often are signs of PD type traits and generally thinking through signals from others critically.

[Rebel13]

Hi Ann, I am so glad for you! This is a great update. I think it's so important to share the good things because often people feel so stuck in bad situations and fearful of change, being alone, etc. It's understandable, but hearing the joy of someone who's taken back her life and made an abuse-free life for herself is really important! I hope you keep thriving in your new life.

[Ann]

Thank you both! And I will check out that book. Although I feel I am single at heart

[Poison Ivy]

Thank you for the update, Ann. At the end of May, I'll be marking 10 years since my divorce. This forum helped me while I was still married and has continued to help me after the divorce. I occasionally think with regret about the fact that my marriage wasn't better (e.g., "I was young and dumb when I got married."), but I have no regrets about the divorce.

[MaxedOut]

Thank you both! And I will check out that book. Although I feel I am single at heart

I feel a good bit of this. It is hard for me to even imagine living with anyone again. I have had so much pleasure in (re)creating my own spaces, feeling free at home, etc. And less of a thing, but thinking about someone else's internal state after having my life revolve around that is very itchy feeling.