Being Imitated

[Stayingstrong]

When she's not in the devaluation stage and attacking me as the enemy, my older sister copies everything I do (she is in her 50's). I grow my hair out, she grows her hair out. I braid my hair she braids her hair. I post a picture of myself with my cat to my mom's picture frame, and she posts the same picture of herself with her cat down to the way I am holding the cat. She then tells people I am jealous of her. It would be comical if it wasn't wearing away at my identity.

I've really worked on ignoring this over the years, and blocking her so she can't see what I am up to, but just recently, I found out my nephew was having a baby. I knit and crochet, and this was the one thing my sister hadn't yet copied. I was very excited to make the baby her first blanket. Now my sister is knitting and crocheting and giving everyone gifts out of the blue. I feel strongly that this is to make sure that my gift won't be special. It might sound petty, but it is hard to exist as a confident, independent person when everything I do is absorbed and taken over by her.

Does anyone have experience with being imitated by your PD?

[walking on broken glass]

Hi, staying strong. This almost feels like stalking to me! It's so weird and unnerving, and it involves projection mixed with gaslighting too ('I am not imitating you - you are imitating me'). No wonder you feel it is a direct attack at your identity.
My sister does something similar. In social situations when we are interacting with other people, she will repeat my words after me. I will say something and she will say the exact same thing with a two second delay, like an echo. I find it really irritating and destabilising to the point where I fantasise about yelling 'shut up' and shaking her. And you are absolutely right, what they are trying to do is steal a part of your identity because they are not comfortable with their own or because they haven't decided what their identity actually is.

[Stayingstrong]

Hi Walking on Broken Glass,
Thank you for replying and sharing your experience with me.

I can't believe you have to tolerate your sister actually echoing your words! Just hearing about that makes me feel ill. Talk about setting you up for a classic DARVO experience! Good job not actually screaming at her because it would likely backfire. I don't know if I could tolerate it.

[JR]

stayingstrong i have also witnessed this kind of mimicing behavior from my narc golden child brother, and its absolutely bizarre! that adults cannot just be themselves without having to copy others stlyes or behaviors. sometimes it feel that they want to beat you at your own game or something where they can show you how much better they are than you. but having witnessed mimicing many times over my lifetime in my narc family and it gives me goosebumps because its so strange that supposely grown adults feel the need to copy your identity, like that old science fiction movie called The Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where aliens take over humans bodies and use the other peoples identity
and psychical body to impersonate human beings, crazy

[skybox]

That sounds stressful and unpleasant - and recognizable!
A late relative used to insist we were "'the same" and buy the same clothing despite age difference, and say " we" when in company. Difficult.

 xnpdh "partner" has changed their hairstyle to match mine, and taken up a similar hobby.  No contact is blissful, only interaction is at a distance. Still, wierd to see.

It doesn't make any sense, and it's very hard to escape from when close to it. Being a blank wall, nothing to copy?