went down a rabbit hole feel kind of meh about it

Started by xredshoesx, June 21, 2026, 03:07:23 PM

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xredshoesx

one of my coworkers grew up one near of the places I spent a significant amount of time as a kid, and we were texting about the bad storms they just had in the region.  then, I got an ancestry DNA notification (still trying to find missing sibling(s)) about a half second cousin second removed from that side of the family and started googling a little.

I didn't find out anything about that relative, but I did find some interesting information about my half brother/'uncle' and i'm sitting with it trying to figure out how it relates/ tracks back to the house of lies we both grew up in. apparently he and his wife divorced (not shocked she turned super conservative around the time I went NC with thee entire maternal side of my family) and neither of her kids claim their dad. my half brother/ 'uncle' as family...... and my uncle brother appears to have remarried as well.  (its amazing how much you can Google on people).   it's crazy to imagine my lil cousins (niece and nephew) are whole ass adults now. 

I'm not considering reaching out or anything- it was just- an aha moment that i'm processing.    In one respect it's sad bc I'm pretty sure THE BIG SECRET of my uncle really being my half brother is all wrapped up in this, and the sadness comes from seeing the lie perpetuated to the point where it broke up another family and more kids got hurt because nobody had the ability to just tell the truth.

another viewpoint is that i'm free.  free.  free. free.  the internet works two ways and i'm sure they have Google and cell phones too. 

anyone else ever fall down a similar rabbit hole???   

xredshoesx

a little more that I wasn't fully articulating -

my uncle/brother and his ex wife lived in a town adjacent from my biological maternal family....
my former sister-in-law aunt did try to interfere with the relationship I had with my mom the first time I was seriously NC as a teen (a situation which I completely and fully took advantage of ngl) and after they had their kids they distanced themselves as much as possible both physically and mentally from all of our shared DNA carrying people.

they would not let my cousins/nephew and niece be alone with anyone with our shared DNA for a reason as well (literally would not let them even babysit for an hour)

it's all collateral damage from abuse that my mother suffered, that I suffered and now I wonder if what happened to us also happened to my uncle/brother?


skybox

That's a lot of secrets been held, difficult and sad. You may be the only one " awake" or curious enough to follow up.
You are definitely free and clear minded, for yourself and perhaps helpful for younger ones who get curious in future