Trying to set healthy boundaries in a complicated relationship

[LIZ IS GOING TO BE]

Hi, I'm new here and I'm trying to understand how to navigate a complicated emotional bond with someone who has traits/a diagnosis of a personality disorder.

We care about each other, but there has been distance, fear of vulnerability, guilt, and a lot of confusion. Sometimes when we get close, he seems to pull away or need space. I also have my own mental health conditions, so uncertainty is very hard for me and I can become anxious or overwhelmed.

I don't want to pressure him, hurt him, or make his situation worse. At the same time, I don't want to lose myself or become responsible for his emotional stability.

I'm not looking for people to tell me whether he loves me or not. I'm looking for advice on how to set healthy boundaries, respect his need for space, communicate calmly, and take care of myself while still being compassionate.

[Rebel13]

Hi Liz, welcome! This forum is a great, supportive place to talk about these difficult things.

The article on boundaries in the Toolbox section of the site is a great place to start. In fact, the more I poke around in the Toolbox, the more great insights and suggestions I find.

I'm also wondering if you have explored resources on attachment? It sounds like you and your SO might have different attachment styles and understanding how that works for each of you might help. I have seen videos in my Youtube feed about that, and I think the Being Well podcast has at least one episode on the topic.

Wishing you the best in your journey to a stronger relationship.