New to the Forum and ready for advice.

[Arose513]

I cannot express enough the amount of relief I have to have come across this website.
From trying to find podcasts to doing my own research it has always made the person out to be a monster and unlovable.
I have been with my fiancé for a year now and yes it did move quickly.
I have been in numerous long term relationships and so has he and I knew he was the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life (as people say when you know you know).
I am not here to bash him in any way but to have a community to come to with advice and get some more knowledge.
Thankfully he has gotten sober which I am so proud of him for.

My issues right now that I am running into is with his ASPD and narcissism regarding with him not being able to differentiate between telling him my concerns and help I need from him around the house or to help with our relationship. He constantly feels like I am telling him he's not good enough and anything he does isn't either.

I find and maybe this is men in general (Joking) he won't look around and see what needs to be done around the house with every little thing I have to ask him.
He's been pretty good with doing it when I ask. Its almost like I have to give him steps. If I ask him to take out the garbage, which he will do then a new garbage bag is never put back in.

Lastly,  whenever I go to advice for him he will say something and give me the advice. I then go and ask other people for their advice get the same advice go back to him and tell him this and he just blows up. I see it from his point of view if he said it to be in the first place why does it take someone else to say it for me to finally go ahh, okay.
We've been in arguments that by the end of it I am being told, "You need to respect me and listen to what I have to say and realize I am more intelligent then you, when are you going to realize this."

Thanks!!

[bloomie]

Arose513 - welcome to Out of the FOG. I am glad you found the community, but sorry you have need of us. The conversations and resources here are so much help. The toolbox above and the recommended resources are also helpful.

It sounds like things are still out of balance and at times even demeaning statements are made over you and that has to be really painful. I have heard it said that the bit of one with Narcissistic traits often leaves us wondering what is wrong with us. It is very disorienting to experience.

The good news is your fiancé has gotten sober! That is a huge step that I am sure you are very thankful for. Something to know about us here, we don't offer advice as much as we share from our own personal experiences what has worked and what has not worked for us. So, jump in to the conversations, read through posts and make good use of all that there is here for you!