Hey all! New life journey here

[newday12]

Hello everyone. This is a leap for me. Please bear with me if I ramble. Lol.  I'm in my 60, over 30 years of marriage to a man with a compulsive sexual disorder, covert narcissist, antisocial. Im a girl that was raised with some trauma and verbal physical abuse in my family. My husband had some huge red flags, cheating indicators, emotional abusive.  I tried to divorce him 5 years ago, couldn't make it financially. Since then,   it's been worse, incredibly abusive mental situation. He's teamed up with a married woman affair partner at work, I suspect is volatile covert narcissist as well she's 15 years younger. I did not realize that I was even in a gaslighting, minimizing, blame shifting, devaluing marriage, habitual liar situation until about a year ago lightbulb moment. He's probably cheated on me the whole marriage I just didn't realize it. Its taken me 31 years im sorry to say,  to realize I don't deserve this treatment,understand the 3 c's, and how to find my self worth again, without being crushed mentally and spiritually and physically by this man any longer. Im working on me to get empowered and fighting back healthy,  for my life and future, and my grown children and my grandchildren.  Im so thankful I found this group. Some background, my husband and his mistress, affair at work for 5 years, hiding under  work time, are dehumanizing me, I found comments he let slip out about how they blame me,  call me a sad sausage, she's tried several times to get me banned from his work and has verbally accosted me  I don't know this woman,   and the mental abuse is next level. My husband has defended this woman over me.I've been in support groups in the past, for my husband's sexual addiction, which he stopped all recovery, he goes to go to church three times a week but verbally abuses me at home and cheats on me. I'm learning about the personality disorders and how abusive my life is truly been. Some days you feel like you're drowning. I'm hoping those days are over.  Thank you guys for listening

[bloomie]

newday12 - welcome to Out of the FOG. It sounds like things have been seriously hard for a very long time. There is so much in your intro post that many of us here can relate to and I thank you for having the courage to reach out and join the community.

There is little more isolating than the type of insidious neglect, rejection and as you say, mental and spiritual crushing like you describe you are experiencing. I am so sorry.

There is nothing that I have found that is quite as validating as the peer support you will experience here. Make good use of the resources, book recommends, other online resources and when you are ready, join the conversations taking place on the forum boards. Keep coming back! It helps to lighten a heavy load! 

[newday12]

Thank you so much! Can you recommend things in particular for me?  I'm new to the website not positive how to Navigate best resources?  Should I just Ask for advice when I need to,  how do I do that?  Do I give advice to people also, validate them?  That would be the amazing resource to have other people validate and  help navigate living with this pd.

[bloomie]

newday12 - I sure can pop a few links here to get you started. I am unsure if you are still in the home/relationship or not - and I am not asking, just to say I will pop in links to boards you can read and engage and post in depending on which is a best fit:

Separating and Divorcing
Committed to Working On it
Chosen Relationships

And for resources:

Toolbox
Links
Recommended Reading

We come here to share our journeys and support one another. We don't offer advice unless someone specifically asks for it. We offer insights from our own experiences. This is one of the most diverse and savvy communities I know of and the members listen, read what you share, believe you and offer support and when you are ready you will offer that back.

I hope this helps. There are many other articles, etc., to read though and other online resource recommendations to look through. Wishing you peace as you settle in!