What do you think?

[Juju]

I guess I made a boo boo my partner's buddy is getting married and he has decided he doesn't want to go.  We were talking this and he brought up his friend and his to be wife about how she is making him do this and do that and how he is making a huge mistake!  I said "well at least he wants to be with her" well he went off on how he wants to be with me but he has a problem with anxiety and can't bring himself to do much with me.  It is hard for me to accept this but I do and the odd time I make a snide comment which is so insulting and out of line to him.  I feel like a piece of crap and he goes to the bedroom and pouts .... so difficult!

[bloomie]

Juju - last time I checked you get to human and make a remark before thinking it through. The reality of your partner's anxiety making it difficult to do much with you is lonely and isolating. This inability to be a fully fledged partner is a lot to make peace with I have found in my own relationship. I am really sorry he responded as he did.

How are things today?

[Juju]

He is fine today as we just carried on a few hours later like nothing happened, as long as I don't pressure him or remark on his inability to go anywhere with me ... everything is OK, sometimes I wish I was on my own and then I think it is kinda like I'm on my own now except I have company, we laugh and have fun in other ways as he is not a boring person he is just stuck in his mind with his anxieties and it makes it very difficult, I also find he complains about other people decisions and their lives as he is opinionated to the max, he has way to much to say at times and this bugs me I am wondering if has a PD on top of his other issues.

[bloomie]

Thankful to hear you are able to carry on and find a way to reasonably accept the limitations in the relationship. 

[1footouttadefog]

I would encourage you to find a life outside of the house.  He will be there when you return home and the healthier and more fulfilled you are the more interesting and healthier a partner he will have.

It would seem that of you decide to stay you need to own that he won't be going and you have to go alone or with your social friends. 

Being open about his limits and challenges will likely help open up your social life

[Juju]

you are right ... I need to stop complaining about his problems and try to fulfill my own life, I just have always thought you should do it together but as I get older (and older) I have come to the conclusion there are many different kind of relationships and I happen to be in one.