Abusive family found new ways to punish me even after death of my abusive mother

[BrightMoon]

I need to vent to people who actually understand how insidious abusive families are, after a big unexpected shock came yesterday.

I am doing my best to survive my childhood, despite abuse from my entire family. Back then I faced severe childhood emotional abuse, violence, severe neglect, an unsafe home, and a level of sexual abuse too. As I grew up, I was eventually able to gradually cut contact over time. And with that space, I was finally able to begin to process my past, see it for what it was, instead of the fake lies they had told me.

Late last year, my abusive mother died, and I learned I was in the will. I didn't ask for it, but after my contacting the police over the past abuse, and their failure to act, it felt like it would be 'something', and with times as they are, I could use the money. My evil siblings sent me messages about the details immediately after the death, saying it would 'take at least 10 months' to sort out. But just last night, some 6 months later, after some digging, I learned....they wrapped everything up - FIVE WEEKS after she died.

And that my evil siblings and father ALL colluded: They REWROTE the will after she died. They DRAINED the bank accounts. They secretly rushed probate through. They intentionally lied to me to run down the risk of any legal action I might take. All to ensure I get practically nothing. All to ensure they get it all.

And the numbers don't add up: what should have been a large sum to divide up, they have lied about, and wrote up as a small figure. And, before she died, they all intentionally refused to take her to a doctor, or get her checked, when she showed obvious signs of dementia. I am sure they kept her undiagnosed on purpose, so they could quietly drain her money, while she lacked the capacity to understand.

Having now gotten further legal advice, I'm also sickened to learn that, because of UK laws, the police won't touch this. And none of the 'No-Win-No-Fee' companies will either. And I lack the funds to take it to court myself. And a small claims court will also do nothing. Despite my having solid proof on a lot of this.

But this post isn't about the money or the legal failings (though it makes me angry at how messed up the legal system is). This is about me realising that they would all go to such depths, all while gaslighting me my whole life, all while making me think they were saints. All while claiming it was ME who was the problem. All while they plotted and schemed and colluded and hurt me over the years as much as they could.

My whole life, any time I (gently) tried to raise any concerns I had about any of them, they literally constantly told me I was "crazy", and said any abuse was me 'imagining it all", and was me 'being paranoid'. And I believed them too... For too, too long. And though I began to see things as they really were over time, once I broke contact with them-I've still had trouble figuring out just how low they would sink...

Now I have a clear window, and insight into just how low they are. And it's a shock. And it hurts, a lot. They always claimed to be about 'family first', and about 'honesty', 'loyalty', 'fairness'. How ironic...

Further: Each member of my family, at some point in their lives, had a person close to them with money....and EVERY one of those people died. Prematurely. Of 'unclear' causes. And there were questions raised over those deaths as the time.... And even I had suspicions too. And each of my vile family benefitted, each time. Now, in light of realisations about the will? And in light of their childhood abuse of me? And in light of the depths they are clearly happy to go to? I'm starting to think they may have had a hand in those deaths. I know they enouraged drug use by one of the people, who then died from it.

But I'm posting, mainly, because all this means that remaining doubts I had about my past abuse are shifting again. Because, now, I have more reason to trust MY recall of what happened, instead of having previously trusted THEIR version of events. Remaining doubts, about instances of abuse from them, in my childhood, are getting swept away. And it's upsetting and frightening to me.

I just can't believe all this. I can't believe how evil they all are. And at the same time, I can't understand why it's so hard for me to believe, and why I'm so upset. Shouldn't I know better by now?I just don't know what to believe anymore, after this 'earthquake' of a thing.

It's thrown so much up into the air for me, and right now I feel like I'm in shock and numb. But I fear how difficult and upsetting all this is going to be to make sense of and deal with. How much past pain it's going to bring up, and need processing. I guess I could just use some warmth and sympathy over all this as it's so much to deal with.

.

NEW UPDATE -

A few hours ago I got confirmation that my so called father had an equal role in all this. Now I'm re-evaluating past memories of his abuse to me too. It's just awful and too much.

[moglow]

I'm so sorry they did this, and that it's basically brought your entire past up for review. BUT - you see them. There's no doubting what they can and will do, whether on their own or to go along with the others. On a sick level there would be a comfort in that, knowing without any doubt who they are. It's not anything you ever wanted, but in time I believe it will give you some measure of peace. 

It goes without saying, I wouldn't let them know that I know. I wouldn't be in any communication with people who treat others so poorly.

That's who THEY are, what they chose. You're not one of them and for that, you can be proud and thankful. I know it's small help right now, but it's there as you go forward. 

Wishing you peace. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

I'm so so sorry, Bright Moon. That is devastating and certainly earthquake level revelations. All I can say is thank God you know the truth now and can protect yourself. And take such good care of yourself.