hello world

[GC8]

Recently my father backed out of a promise to pay for my wife's flight to visit he and my step mother. I have no beef with my step mother, but she seems to dislike me for no logical reason.
 
A year prior we were going to visit them, and i was going to pay the total airfare. At that time he had a reasonable excuse he had just moved.
This time unnamed visitors from out of state would be visiting them the week before the dates we planned to visit a year in advance.
I cannot understand the issue.
I can understand if he doesn't care to see me, but no interest in his grandchildren strikes me as very odd.

We live in another country, and it is not easy to find time to visit it takes a fair amount of planning and it is not a short flight.
My wife was bothering me nearly everyday for a year, "ask them to help pay for the flight."
i did, but knew it was a total waste of time, because he wouldn't.
My wife cannot understand this, because her parents would.

This is not why i am angry with him. this is all par for the course. i accepted it long ago.

Why i am angry is; i am currently unemployed on disability, it will be ending soon at which time i will collect unemployment and enter job training.

I called my father for career advice. He owned his own business for many years. A business he purchased with money given to him by his mother.
He left that business to his partner and didn't work for about ten years, because my step mother's salary is excessively high.
Then finally he expressed to his neighbor he was a bit bored. So his neighbor gave him a job.

In this conversation where i am genuinely asking for advice, like how did you do it? knowing full well how he did it, luck. he is talking down to me. he said something like well i never collected unemployment... now thinking back i'm not sure he could have.

So i've been out of work for about a year taking care of my kids and doing the house work collecting my disability pay, which i am receiving due to working in an extremely toxic workplace.

I've had a paying job since i was twelve years old. (no that is not legal in the united states) and he is talking to me like i am a bum and he is some sort of self made man.

so i am slightly perturbed.

thank you for reading. 

[bloomie]

GC8 - welcome to Out of the FOG. The frustration with your father's inability to connect with you right where you are makes sense to me. It seems like you are doing a lot to keep your family together and life to run smoothly for you all and it is a very different life than the one your father has lived.

It stings to try and find common ground and insights from a parent only to realize they are unable/unwilling to offer understanding and show consistent interest in us and our family. I am so sorry you are facing this.