General topic

[angleface900]

Hi. Just came out of a difficult and bad situation with a close-knit religious group where I experienced a deep betrayal of trust. When I spoke up, instead of support, I faced minimization, spiritual bypassing, gaslighting, and narrative manipulation—including a 'scorekeeping' mentality where past favors or involvement were used to invalidate my reality, and leaders and peers chose to side with the person who caused the harm. This toxic dynamic, demand for blind conformity, and total lack of accountability are the exact reasons I made the final decision to walk away and step out of that community entirely. I'm trying to recover, seek healing from the spiritual and emotional toll, and process how this isolation and shifting of blame affected my sense of safety and trust. I don't feel comfortable going into a lot of specific details about what happened, as I am just trying to move forward, make peace with it, and find my footing again. I'm also from California.

[angleface900]

But than I learned there are actually some decent people out there despite the situation I went through.

[bloomie]

angleface900 - welcome to Out of the FOG. My heart goes out to you and I am so sorry you have experienced betrayal of your trust and a toxic dynamic within your past faith community that has hurt so deeply. I understand how this is such a destabilizing experience and one that will take time and distance to truly process as you begin to heal.

A great resource that I immediately thought of that has been helpful to me in my own healing is the work of Mary DeMuth found here: https://www.marydemuth.com/blog/

This is a compassionate and understanding community who have insights and support that can help begin to dispel that feeling of isolation. When we lose our faith community in the way you describe - the place should be where safety and acceptance, love and compassion is found it can feel like we are desert wanderers. Having a place to share here can be of help.

Keep sharing as you are able. I look forward to supporting you!