Guide for Resolving Conflict

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daughterofbpd

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Guide for Resolving Conflict
« on: October 16, 2018, 01:55:07 PM »
I just read this article by Mark Manson about resolving conflict and wanted to share. He explains things in such a simple and easy to understand manner:
https://markmanson.net/relationship-problems

I think the "They are trying to change you" section can really apply to dealing with PD relationships. My example would be my M trying to change my habits for how much contact I want to have, etc.

Mark basically says that you have 2 (healthy) choices in this instance:
   
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Step One: Tell them that this is who you are and they can take it or leave it.
    Step Two: If they don’t accept it and keep trying to change you, you leave the relationship.

He has a guide to boundaries on his site too: https://markmanson.net/boundaries

I think its really great advice, most of what I've been trying to implement in my own life already, but I am amazed by how simple he makes it sound. Hope someone else finds this helpful.  :)

“How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego”
~ Amanda Torroni

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all4peace

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Re: Guide for Resolving Conflict
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2018, 12:20:21 AM »
I bookmarked both pages. Really great format, easy to follow. I love the way he maps out the steps! Seems so simple, how did it take me years to get to this point?! Thanks for sharing.

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Guide for Resolving Conflict
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2018, 09:04:55 AM »
Good stuff! Thanks.
· Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage-plan accordingly, make time to heal
· Individuation is one key to emotional freedom
· It's foolish to expect of others what they have no capacity to give
my Empowered Growth blog

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Whiteheron

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Re: Guide for Resolving Conflict
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2018, 09:30:06 AM »
Still reading... but wanted to mention that this hit home:

"The victim creates more and more problems to solve and the saver solves and solves"

That was my marriage in a nutshell. Constantly solving his manufactured problems was exhausting.

Thanks for posting!
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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Bloomie

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Re: Guide for Resolving Conflict
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2018, 12:31:14 PM »
daughterofbpd - to preserve this great resource I moved this over to our other media resources board. Thank you for sharing this. Good stuff!