Very strange behavior

[Pepin]

Very strange...make of it what you will but here goes...

Yesterday PDmil received a flower delivery at her home.  Since she did not understand why she was getting flowers (Mother's Day a day late), so she refused them.  She later understood that the flowers were from her oldest daughter....who for the love of God was thinking of her own mother while she herself is recovering from a recent broken leg in the hospital!  If anyone should be getting flowers it should be DH's sister!!!  PDmil had it in her head that if you refuse delivery of flowers, that the sender's account would be credited and the flowers returned.          

As you can imagine, DH after learning of this through a phone call with PDmil, has no words.  He told me this in disbelief, that his mother would behave like this.

What is sad is that I can totally see her doing something like this.  That being said, DH's sister has a history of sending PDmil flowers and is likely the only one that sends flowers...why would a mother refuse this of her child?  Tiny backstory....last week DH's sister broke her leg and when PDmil found out she called DH at work crying.  SIL is in good spirits and will get all the help necessary for a speedy recovery.  I don't see how PDmil crying is going to fix anything though other than PDmil drawing attention to herself.  My daughter fractured a toe and it wasn't a reason for me to cry!  My best friend broke her foot and I did not cry.  I did my best to be helpful and to keep their spirits up.   

Seems that the longer PDmil is left to fend for herself, without DH and his siblings holding the line for her, her true self is being exposed. 

DH is not convinced that this behavior is the result of "old age" and he is greatly bothered by it.  In the last number of months there have been numerous examples of odd behavior coming out that has DH wondering, who is she?  When there are no masks to hide behind and no curtains for anyone to hold in front of PDmil, what is left is the true PDmil.

As bewildered as DH is becoming, the more solid I am in knowing that PDmil has struggled to live from a place of genuineness.  She has had so many people around her doing HER work -- and when all of these people are no longer able to provide her with what she needs (because they have their own dang lives), who is she then?  She is a woman who has led a mostly false life, in my opinion.  She just doesn't know how to be and never has. 

 

[all4peace]

Wow, that is really strange. I can't imagine why someone would refuse flowers rather than asking who they're from. 

[StayWithMe]

Some people are real sticklers about time.  I remember visiting my (ex)mil the weekend of mother's day.  her other son called on Saturday to ask  if her gift from arrived.  It had not.  He went ballistic as if I had something to do with it.  He's a pretty nasty guy.  So he missed.  My (ex) MiL has one or two fewer days to enjoy her gift from her son. 

[Unvitation to Drama]

Honestly, I see this as attention getting behavior.

[Pepin]

Honestly, I see this as attention getting behavior.

Yes!  This and all the other things she has been doing lately scream for attention.  For once, I wish she would pay attention to herself.  She has led her entire life thinking that it is her job to serve everyone else in the name of attention while excluding herself.  She literally has no sense of self. 

Some number of posts back I wrote about being triggered from seeing pictures of PDmil on this device we have that rotates pictures from our stored files.  Often I see pictures of PDmil and the one thing that stands out is just how awkward she is!  She just stands there in every single photo not knowing what to do with herself.  And that is exactly how she is in real life: doesn't know what to do with herself.  Her craving attention is a way of getting her needs met.  Acting inappropriately is how she gets attention.