BOUNDARIES

[tryin2cope]

Hi, my girlfriend has BPD and we are in a long distant relationship, so I,m not sure how to enforce boundaries. for when she act's out.
Due to the COVID we cant see each other due to the fact she in in Belgium and I am in the US.
We have been together 3 years now and I am doing everything I can to Help her.

[bloomie]

Hi there and welcome. I am thankful you have found us for support and encouragement.

I so understand how hard it is to be already in an intimate relationship with established patterns of behaviors to now turn the ship in a different direction against the tide. It's not easy, but so important to begin building these necessary life skills that will extend to all of your relationships.

There are some great conversations and resources here around how to set/keep boundaries with consequences around what does and does not work for your life.

For me, learning that boundaries are not rules or mandates for others, but rather limits around what I will/will not do or allow in my life was a game changer for me.

I want to pop in some resources and also encourage you to check out the toolbox and trait info at the dropdown menus above as you settle in. So helpful!

A couple of great conversations about boundaries are found here: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=24.0 and here: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=36232.0

A great podcast: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=84257.0
and other media resources that may be of great help to you recommended by other members is found here: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?board=45.0

There are a great deal of youtube vids and articles and books that can empower you and set you on a new path that is respectful of both you and your GF.

Boundaries are ultimately about what we can control and change and that is always and only ourselves. Take some time and look around, read the insights and experiences of others here and when you are ready jump in and began asking questions and sharing your experiences with others.

Boundaries provide space around us that is necessary to healthy relationships and processing of experiences that come our way when in relationship with a disodered person. Boundaries are our best chance of maintaining the relationship in my experience and setting them in place can reveal an awful lot about the current state of things.

Keep coming back and sharing! We will support you as you find the best way for you in dealing with issues as they arise in this relationship.

[Boat Babe]

Thats a lovely welcome Bloomie 😁

I hope you can look after yourself during this long separation tryin2cope and use the time to strengthen your sense of self as you learn about personality disorders and what that means for your GF and for yourself.

See you on the boards.