New rule(s) on friendships

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New rule(s) on friendships
« on: April 28, 2021, 04:48:21 AM »
I've made a new rule for myself in regards to friends and that is to keep work separate from personal life.

I haven't really had a good time making friends from work, so I will just keep them at acquaintance level for now one.

Other rules I'm thinking about...

1) Take the friendship slow, that way I can identify any red flags. It makes me nervous when they immediately offer intimate things(ex. "Come to my wedding!" "Let's go on vacation together;" etc....) when we haven't known each other for a long time.

2)  Find someone who treats you with fairness, mutual respect, and kindness --- even if we disagree, at least we can still be fair and kind to each other without losing respect.

3) Someone on the same energy level or at least understands your energy evel---I. introverted and get drained easily. I need space most times and get overwhelmed if hanging out all day, everyday...I used to try doing that to appease my friends back in the day but it made me tired.

4) Someone who has many aspirations, is motivated, and always keeping productive -- I LOVE having people like that in my circle to help lift and motivate me--and do we can motivate each other.

What are your "rules of friendship" or requirements?

Here's a previous post: Nervous about making new friends

Got motivated because...not sure if I lost a (former) coworker friend...Got into a weird conversation recently. He got upset with me for mentioning men in makeup and said it was "unmanly" to do and he said men can only wear foundation and eyeliner, everything else is not manly in his eyes... I was making a joke about putting it on partner...and mentioned certain cultures men put it on but he got upset and kept going on about it, so I said "Ah okay" and "I see" to everything and tried changing the subject. I didn't want to argue, was just inquiring his thoughts about it and just messing around. But anyways he stopped talking to me after that...I don't know if I triggered him by accident. Or maybe I should give him some space? He did end up talking in group chat after, maybe that was his way of changing the subject?

Anyways...just been having a crappy time making work friends so I think I shall just keep them on a friendly acquaintance level and not upgrade to friend level until I know for sure...or maybe just never upgrade it for my own protection.