new partner to someone with C-PTSD

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Swervecity

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new partner to someone with C-PTSD
« on: July 22, 2021, 05:33:26 AM »
Hi, I am new here. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with someone with C-PTSD. We have had a rocky road the last 6 months, partly due to me not being honest with her about my relationship early on with my ex-wife but also her addiction to Meth, which restarted after she found out that I had kept some things from her in the first 8 weeks. She is a functioning addict but her moods are wildly unpredictable. She was clean for a year before she started again about 6 months ago.
I have been doing everything possible to get her to trust that I have now been completely honest with her but since she started using again she is so up and down and I have always blamed the drugs for her behaviour but I understand that it is probably a combination of her C-PSTD and the drug use.
She has tried to detox 3 times in the last couple of months and is about to start again.
I find it impossible to not feel hurt and react when she switches off and starts detaching and acting like she doesn't want to be around me. My relationship with my ex was nothing more than supporting her and then trying to shut the support down but as I kept it from my partner she believes it was a lot more.
I don't know how to handle the anger she feels and the loss of affection and love and recently had a mini breakdown myself.
I feel completely lost and whilst we are still living together and have moments of love for the most part she is detached and is sleeping in another room.
I know my sadness doesn't help and she hates talking about things now and I don't know how to approach her to discuss how i can help her.

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xredshoesx

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Re: new partner to someone with C-PTSD
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2021, 11:08:05 AM »
welcome to the group-  i am sorry for the serious issues in your relationship that brought you here but at the same time commend you for looking for validation and support.

our main focus is to support those with loved ones or other relationships with personality disorders.  Even thought C-PTSD is not a personality disorder,  i am sure the tools in the toolbox as well as the sections committed to working on it and common behaviors may be able to give you some additional coping strategies as you try to worth through the C-PTSD and addiction issues with your GF.

a question to you-  has she opened up to you what put the P in her C-PTSD?  it is possible that  childhood adverse experiences could be the root of both problems in your relationships.

Toolbox 

Chosen Relationships

Comitted to Working On It

please be safe and study up on boundaries.  you have to have a bottom line with some of her behaviors if she is an addict-  if you haven't already i suggest checking out a real time support group like the ones mentioned here for the specific issues that loving someone in an active addictive state

https://www.projectknow.com/support-groups/families-of-addicts/

hope to see you on the boards soon