Hello..I'm new

[Outta]

Hello,

A llitle over a year ago my husband assaulted me. He choked me, hit me and then got his gun and threatened to commit suicide.  He denies to this day that he assaulted me. He has told everyone and any one who will listen that I falsely called the police. I honestly think that he believes his own lie. My therapist says that sometimes people will recreate reality to protect themselves from the guilt and pain of the actual reality. I wish I could recreate my reality..one in which I don't love someone who has hurt me so much.

I really just need a place where I can anonymously vent and seek advice from others who may be going through or can identify with what I have been going through.

[xredshoesx]

dear outta

i hope you are in a safe place as you are posting/ reading here.  the event that brought you to Out of the FOG had the potential to escalate even more. i am glad you are reaching out for support and validation both here and IRL.

some places to check out first to get your feet wet would be the toolbox and the 100 traits.  we can't say if anyone has a personality disorder- only a medical professional can do that but the common traits can help folks get a general idea of what to expect/ look out for when their partner or spouse is disregulated/ exhibiting behavior traits from the DSM-V

Top 100 Traits 

Toolbox 



some other information that may be worth checking out-.

Here is a link on creating a Safety Plan:
http://womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/get-help-for-violence/safety-planning-for-abusive-situations.html

Personal Safety
http://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/ensure-your-own-personal-safety

Put Children First
http://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/put-children-first

To avoid circular conversations, don't JADE Justify Argue Defend Explain
http://outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain

when you feel safe enough to share more, post in the forum that best describes where/ how the forum can support you most in this relationship.

keep reading and posting! pease give us an update when you can.  hoping to hear back soon-

[Boat Babe]

 

All of the above.

My heart goes out to you as you navigate this difficult time. I would ask that you have a close look at Trauma Bonds and also the addictive nature of abusers. (You know it's not good for you, but you do it anyway - that's addictive behaviour and most of us recognize this in ourselves - I certainly do)

You mentioned a strangulation event. Just know that strangulation is a massive red flag for further and possibly fatal assaults by a perpetrator.  I would take this very seriously indeed, as your life may be at risk.

Lastly, there is hope for you. Many of us here are free of spousal abuse, some after decades, and everyone who has made it out says how much better life is on the other side. If you need encouragement, have a read of those threads. I, for one, would never go back to that dark place.

Sending love and courage.