It's just torture at this point.

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acc1984

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It's just torture at this point.
« on: October 15, 2021, 11:36:08 AM »
I haven't been on in a while. Sometimes it's just too hard. But I'm panicking and a little beside myself as we're currently waiting for motion hour to see whether or not my DH's UBPDX is going to be able to take our cat or not. I've talked about this before but I'll spare everyone every detail. A brief summary...
This past spring, UBPDBM alienated DH's 3 minor children to the point that they refused to return to our house and have been with her for about 6 months. This happened previously with his oldest son, now 20 and he hasn't seen him for years. There were/are abuse allegations (nothing ever proven/investigated-because it was all lies) and the kids all threatened self-harm at the very same time. When a family therapist they were working with caught on to what she was doing and called her on it, she refused to continue treatment and disallowed the children to participate. She has isolated every mental health professional involved. DH has NOT lost custody or timesharing but that has gotten so muddied and lost in her lies that none of the therapists will talk with him.
Now BM has filed a motion with the court to take our cat. Claiming it belongs to DSD17. It was a family Christmas gift-about 5 years ago, DSD17 claims she fostered and bottled fed the kitten (she didn't, I did) and it should live with her. I've seen the eyerolls from friends and family "It's just a cat, is it worth litigation" and maybe not... but I don't have kids of my own, my husband's kids have been deliberately removed from his life with no cause, and our pets are all we have left. It feels like torture at this point. I'm terrified she's going to be awarded ownership of the cat-we provided adoption/foster records but apparently it's all about who can present the most emotional story to the judge. We gave the kids a puppy for Christmas a few years ago... is she also entitled to our dog?! Our attorney says it's possible.
I just don't know where it ends.

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oak_tree

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Re: It's just torture at this point.
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2021, 08:28:54 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear that, Acc1984,

No eye-rolling here. I loved my cats dearly, and when I had to give one of them up, it was incredibly difficult, even though I knew he was going to a great home. 

I'm really hoping that if your DSD is so intent on having the cat, that she'll care for it well, if she does get custody.

My thoughts are with you.

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Penny Lane

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Re: It's just torture at this point.
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2021, 11:40:05 AM »
I am so, so sorry acc.

 :bighug:

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acc1984

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Re: It's just torture at this point.
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2021, 11:36:36 AM »
Thank you both, so much. The judge did award them our cat. The whole situation is just hard to swallow. The way they manipulate the system, the courts, mental health professionals. DH still has 50% custody and timesharing with his children and has only been interested in seeking help with reunification but they're relocating pets?? It makes no sense to me. My parents took the cat to the drop off with uBPDbm and of course it was a scene. My mom kindly introduced herself and as she was getting back in the car said "I hope we can all find some peace" apparently this set BM off and she chased their car across the parking lot screaming at them. I think sometimes there just isn't any resolution and you have to focus on moving on with a different life than the one you might have had in mind.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: It's just torture at this point.
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2021, 12:13:39 PM »
I'm very sorry about the cat and about everything.

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square

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Re: It's just torture at this point.
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2021, 05:23:38 PM »
Me too, my stomach just clenches reading that.