Which restaurant

[sunshine702]

So I wanted to share sort of a funny encounter (because it worked out). For weeks I knew my Narc mom was coming out.  Probably the last time I will see her in awhile as we are moving in Oct. to my in laws city. She will not come there.  So I kept asking her where she would like to eat?  This is a tourist town with lots of great options and some hidden gems.   I suggested a mobbed up Italian place (no I really think it is). I had been there for a political event and wow the history.   Well the day of she was texting me at work wanting to go to a different Italian place with a view then changing her mind.  I texted her both menus.  She was worried about it "being too heavy". They are both Italian..!but ok.  Then she finally agrees to go to the mobbed up place.  My husband joins us things are fine.  She eats lettuce - ok whatever.  My husband pays the bill (it was not too bad). The best part they had live music that was deafening.  So we could barely talk.  It was perfect.   Live music my friends.   

[NarcKiddo]

Oh, nice. Glad it worked out well for you. And that you are escaping to another city. Lucky you!

Live music did not work out for me. I invited my family to a local restaurant for a Sinatra tribute act. I thought the music might dilute uNPD mother and that she might enjoy it. Win-win.  The restaurant is one where we are well known. That turned out to be both good (they put up with us) and bad (we would have to show our faces there again). Mother didn't much seem to like the music at first as it took attention off her. So she decided she would manufacture faux enjoyment and she sang along at the top of her voice. To everything. Slightly off key. She is LOUD. She took singing lessons some years ago and knows how to project her voice. The singer found it amusing and kept bringing his mic to her so she could sing even louder and the whole restaurant suffered/found it amusing. We were a total laughing stock.

[sunshine702]

Oh wow. That's over the top.  Sorry. 

[bee well]

Hi Sunshine 702,

Oh, my. NarcKiddo, I am sorry about that.

Total solidariety here with both of you, about restaurants. my ILs draw a lot of unwanted attention at restaurants (still better than being stuck at home), and FIL likes to sing and flirt (so painful to watch) There was one time when MIL decided the waitress was taking too long to clean the table so she balled up the packaging of crackers and breadsticks, and threw then in the corner. I was so embarassed and angry. Needless to say I do not want to go back there. It's a pity, because the food was good.

[moglow]

This is another of those "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy" moments. Mine would have sat there in a silent huff: music was too loud, food too heavy so all she could eat was salad [alternate: all she got for dinner was a dinky salad, had to cook dinner when she got home/went without] etc then whinge about it every conversation ever after. And complain that no one calls or visits or takes her out. 

Sometimes it's just a lose-lose proposition going in - something isnt going their way or jealousy takes over so they go scorched earth, if only in their own minds.

[sunshine702]

My dad used to want the perfect table and god forbid he could smell cigarette smoke.  We would move and move and move.  It is deeply embarrassing even as a kid at Dennys.

Another time I remember when I knew my family was not ok and I needed to get out of there at the first opportunity.  One of those freak outs. Only this time who would sit where.  By older brother ScapeGoat had had enough and would not switch chairs again.  My mom in a rage got up and dumped him out of his chair at some log cabin dining place.

I got summer jobs away and left at 18 and have never been back for more than a hand full of times and never will