About the stay at my mum's

[Sheppane]

The fakeness is hard to bear. You say you don't know if diluting the calls will help and I suppose it sounds to me like a lot to put yourself through to have that kind of interaction twice a week. Could you reduce it and give yourself a break? What are you getting out of these calls? This whole thing IS weird. Just compare the calls with ones you have with people who you feel see and hear you and are truly there for you. In the past a sense of obligation caused me to make more calls than I "wanted". And then the emotional hangover that would last afterward. It is worth considering why you want to call - you don't need to put yourself through this so frequently. I know these things are easier said than done but I often need to give myself permission to think "what do I need to do to care for myself here". That helps me a bit.

[treesgrowslowly]

It IS so wierd right? Like you said WOBG, it doesn't feel right.

She's not acting like a mother is supposed to act, but you're supposed to be daughter of the year. The roles are reversed, which strikes us as terribly wierd. Cause it is.

Once an emotionally immature parent gets sick, things go wierd. That's what I've learned. The parent can make all these claims that they get the attention, based on being the one with the diagnosis and illness. Your own needs get swept under the rug.

Could you try 1 less phone call next week to see how you feel? I know it often feels like damned if you do damned if you don't in these situations.

Trees