How do you self care?

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CelestialLight

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How do you self care?
« on: March 24, 2021, 02:54:59 PM »
Iím always interested to hear how everyone does self care.

I self care when Iím getting stressed, upset, down etc. I also try to set aside some time every Sunday for Self Care Sunday, even if itís just something small.

Hereís my list of self care options I use

Paint my nails
Shape my nails
Have a shower
Wash my hair (sometimes looking after yourself means doing just that)
Put on some nice moisturiser
Brush my cat (he purrs and gets very cute and heart melting)
Watch something I enjoy
Play a game
Read a book
Make a cup of hot chocolate
Have a chocolate bar or a few pieces of chocolate, and practice mindfulness doing it
Brush my hair and do something different like plait it
Look up funny memes
Read a short story online
Listen to some music
Play an instrument
Cuddle a stuffed toy
Write
Cook something to eat

These are all dependant on my mood, low or high, whatís been happening etc. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is just one thing.

What about yíall?

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Bloomie

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2021, 07:39:03 PM »
Hi Celestial Light - that is a great list!

I love to garden and dig in the dirt
hike nearby trails
light some candles
essential oil diffuser on full blast
bubble baths
make music
have coffee with a friend
bake
swim
watch a heartwarming movie
hang with my family
try and solve some riddles

to name a few. 🌸

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Andeza

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2021, 08:32:10 PM »
I love gardening. Very restricted right now, but that'll be changing within a year or two.
Baking. This has doubled because of my pregnancy. (Which is going well so far.)
Window shopping. I rarely buy anything! I just like walking at the mall and looking at stuff.

I need to expand this list, but haven't had a lot of energy, or good weather, for doing more.
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous

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Breakthrough

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2021, 05:22:34 AM »
I donít feel like I do self care anymore.  I do though itís just different.  I enjoy making things so crafting is definitely one of my self care activities.  I sew, knit and crochet.  Making things if soothing.  I do need to do what I used to do, which was take baths, read books, exercise regularly, eat healthy.  I feel like I have left those by the wayside and instead often veg out on tv while surfing the web or Facebook.  May be thatís self care too?

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xredshoesx

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2021, 07:39:05 AM »
TEA TEA and more TEA

we try to get out in the naturehood at least once a week and hike 2-3 miles

counted cross stitch

goat memes


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tragedy or hope

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2021, 10:11:29 AM »
Good question because it makes me think on it. I love to camp. Unpdh has to go, I have yet to learn to tow the equipment on my own, BUT when we are away, he is more preoccupied with surroundings, and I get some diversion. Keeping him distracted with stuff really helps my self care.

I make sure I am dressed, hair styled, make up applied sufficient for the day.
Nails manicured
hair cut colored or styled
sit with my dog and pet and play with her
take a walk
ride my bike by myself (this is hard to get away to do)
meet with a few other women once a week for spiritual food which he cannot attend
research issues that interest me and keep up with what does
 find fun book to read that make me laugh
try to get on this site each day
since I feel often smothered, I look for ways to communicate without his knowledge or interference with friends and family. I actually wrote a hand written letter to our son and family in another state for the fun of it. I did not tell unpdh until I mailed it. He tries to get involved in anything I do.
take a "scenic" drive by myself sometimes in silence, sometimes with music going.
buy groceries I want to eat
cook what i want to eat and offer some to him if he wants
(i used to cook to please him. waste of time. always at least one criticism per meal. done with that, his loss.)
make my surroundings the colors and themes that please me as much as possible. (this can get costly so bargain hunting online is kind of fun too)
nature, nature, nature. fresh air for a minute or two takes the staleness of his behaviors away sometimes.
I also watch the time he spends in self absorbed video games. .when he stops working, or doing; I try to stop. why beat myself up or get resentful? I will just do what he does sometimes.
make sure i have a clean tidy house when I go to bed. I am often up first and it is welcoming to me to find things in order.
I buy myself fresh flowers as often as possible from the grocery.
I order a lot of things online and spend within reason. I love getting pkgs, even if it is laundry soap. Just fun for me.
I dig through old stuff, pictures etc. and reminisce in private.
this is probably not all but highlights
"When people show you who they are, believe them."
~Maya Angelou

Believe it the first time, or you will spend the rest of your life in disbelief of what they can/will do; to you. T/H

Family systems are like spider webs. It takes years to get untangled from them.  T/H

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DistanceNotDefense

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2021, 05:41:35 PM »
- Read very inspiring books
- Take a long bath
- Drink a glass of wine (usually while doing one of the above)
- Put on comfort music
- Make tea
- Binge watch a comfort show
- Cuddle bug with DH
- Create something new in the kitchen
- Create new playlist
- Repotting plants
- Garden stuff
- Clean up around kitchen while making coffee (the one "work chore" I try to consider me-love)
- Tiktok/meme-ing (and sending memes/TikToks to friends that make me think of them... sometimes strikes up a convo)

Finding new additions to the list....

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Cat of the Canals

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2021, 09:48:47 PM »
I enjoy making things so crafting is definitely one of my self care activities.  I sew, knit and crochet.  Making things if soothing.

Same here. I can totally zone out when I'm making things with my hands. :thumbup:

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Andeza

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2021, 10:40:04 PM »
I did enjoy a glass of wine, a Kahlua and cream, or even a single shot of cinnamon whiskey sipped slowly, but before getting pregnant. That particular small pleasure is on hold, of course.

Wanted to add, I watch videos online of gardening, canning, homesteading, etc. These help me keep my eyes on the prize.

I also find immense relaxation in watching ASMR videos. It's extremely calming for me, and helps me recharge my brain any time it's frazzled from two year old tantrums. :stars: Our terrible twos started more around 18 months though... Hope it ends sooner too! :Idunno:
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous

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DistanceNotDefense

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2021, 12:17:35 AM »
Kahlua and cream!  :yes: :yes: :yes:

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BeautifulCrazy

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2021, 03:43:35 PM »
Andeza.... ASMR?? (Jeez I feel old)
Enlighten me!

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Poison Ivy

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2021, 06:14:14 PM »
I engaged in self-care by making an appointment to receive the first dose of a COVID-19 vaccine. I didn't think I was eligible yet, but my primary care provider's office called me last week and left a message saying that I was on "the list" of people now eligible. I spent several days torturing myself about whether I should proceed even though in my mind, my health conditions don't seem serious enough to qualify me for the vaccine now. I felt kind of guilty about going ahead with getting the vaccine now. My family's and neighbor's opinions that I should proceed helped persuade me to make the appointment.

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Andeza

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2021, 07:46:30 PM »
@BeautifulCrazy It's a genre of video on youtube. Some of it is absolutely ridiculous and silly as heck because creators were trying to get a slice of the pie, but there are really good videos nonetheless. ASMR refers to the little tingly sensation you get on your scalp or shoulders, for instance, when someone taps a pen on a table or some such. Most of the videos are whispered, or no talking at all, and even if you don't get the actual ASMR feeling, they're super relaxing to most. Heavy focus on personal attention, which after growing up with uBPDm, is particularly healing from certain artists who help focus on that child wound and focus on anxiety and insecurity. Not for everyone though. The videos annoy my poor DH for instance, so I keep them on headphones. Which, is actually a bonus because it improves the sound quality.

And it's only gotten popular in the last four years or so, so you're not behind!
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous

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Associate of Daniel

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2021, 11:42:31 PM »
My most important thing to do for self care is to surround myself with ... silence.

I work in 6 different primary schools, teaching children from grade 1 to 6.  It's chaotic and very noisy.   Schools are nothing like they were in my day!

I try to spend time refocusing my mind by isolating individual sounds and sights as I sit quietly. Different bird calls, leaves rustled by the breeze, a mower in a distant neighbour's yard etc.

Once I have calmed my mind by doing that, I pray.

Then there are candles, walks in nature, looking after my nails and skin, playing an instrument, reading etc.

And there's always chocolate...

AOD

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CelestialLight

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2021, 04:35:41 AM »
My most important thing to do for self care is to surround myself with ... silence.

I work in 6 different primary schools, teaching children from grade 1 to 6.  It's chaotic and very noisy.   Schools are nothing like they were in my day!

I try to spend time refocusing my mind by isolating individual sounds and sights as I sit quietly. Different bird calls, leaves rustled by the breeze, a mower in a distant neighbour's yard etc.

Once I have calmed my mind by doing that, I pray.

Then there are candles, walks in nature, looking after my nails and skin, playing an instrument, reading etc.

And there's always chocolate...

AOD

I can imagine the chaos!

Where I met my ex was a primary school. Me in integration, he in IT. Some of those grade prep kids were better behaved than adults in my life, and yet others were like a tornado of ideas and chaos, but somehow too darn adorable to not like haha.

What instrument do you play? I took up a few in high school, and am teaching myself a few others. I currently have a full size digital piano set up in my bedroom (Worth $1k- was being thrown out still in the box by a charity so I consider myself very lucky!)

Mmm candles. I had a warm pumpkin cookies one on last night.

Chocolate is the best!

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CelestialLight

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #15 on: March 27, 2021, 04:39:45 AM »
I enjoy making things so crafting is definitely one of my self care activities.  I sew, knit and crochet.  Making things if soothing.

Same here. I can totally zone out when I'm making things with my hands. :thumbup:

Thirded. Forget Netflix and chill, itís Netflix and crochet.

Atm, Iím making sensory enriching items for a friends snakes. I made a short jumper, got some patches going, and working on a longer jumper. Basically tunnels, but itís fun thinking of textures.

(I know, itís a bit weird haha)

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CelestialLight

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #16 on: March 27, 2021, 04:40:45 AM »
TEA TEA and more TEA

we try to get out in the naturehood at least once a week and hike 2-3 miles

counted cross stitch

goat memes

I need to hear more about these goat memes please.

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xredshoesx

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #17 on: March 27, 2021, 10:28:38 AM »
i live in a large very urban area and i'm obsessed with having a pet goat.  so since it's not 100% legal yet in our neighborhood, i watch goat videos and google goat memes to post on social media.


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Spring Butterfly

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #18 on: March 28, 2021, 02:44:33 PM »
instead often veg out on tv while surfing the web or Facebook.  May be thatís self care too?
depends because that sort of mindless activity is more often escapism so maybe explore if youíre using that to escape facing a difficult situation - enneagram nine folks like me often call one another out on that as an unhealthy coping mechanism and caution not to get lost too long in it
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Spring Butterfly

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Re: How do you self care?
« Reply #19 on: March 28, 2021, 02:46:46 PM »
Nature, hiking, camping, sitting in the grass, walking barefoot

Stretching and tuning in mindfully to movement

Card making and sometimes art like color pencils, graphite, mixed media

Tea - my latest craze is blue butterfly pea flower tea - just 2 flowers make the loveliest blue tea :)
∑ Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage-plan accordingly, make time to heal
∑ Individuation is one key to emotional freedom
∑ It's foolish to expect of others what they have no capacity to give
Empowered  Growth blog