Thanksgiving? What to do.

[Gettintired76]

Your right but she claims they are moving in there tomorrow.

[Gettintired76]

Thing is she said he left went back to the state she has sworn he lives in but his Facebook states he lives here in this state

[square]

Forget his Facebook. Who knows who's lying about what and why. It doesn't matter to you.

I know it hurts that she left.

[Gettintired76]

Honestly square I don't care that she left, I was out of the relationship a long time ago, every says I'm disgruntled that she left. What hurts me is she is what she is doing to my kids. On Thanksgiving my 14 yr old was a nervous mess afraid he was going or his sisters were going to say something wrong, trying to play cover up with anything the girls said. Very evasive about what he's been up to because she has him convinced that I will get mad at him if he tells me. But yes it matters who's lying and why when she could have a monster living with my kids. Just saying. Not mad or trying to be smart or anything. But no it doesn't hurt at all that she's gone.

[square]

You're right that the lies are a big deal when it comes to the kids. Sorry about that. I misunderstood your line of thought.

[Gettintired76]

Your fine no need to apologize at all we've done to much of that haven't we

[Gettintired76]

Thanks for talking me through this tonight I really appreciate it.

[Gettintired76]

Ok so on the home front a) I may be moving myself because the railroad offered me a job in a city 3 hrs away, b) my son accidentally told me the county they are moving to, which is also the county her new boyfriend lives in so put 2 and 2 together. I go to see my lawyer next Thursday, I hope I get at least start getting the papers filed and get some of this settled before I have to move. Wish me luck

[Gettintired76]

Ok so I had a one on one well one on two because my son was in on it as well with my ex, I voiced my concerns, decided not to even try to explain why I don't like his moms new b/f (non issue) but I think everything that was said just went in one ear and out the other. So I guess I'm done talking, but on a good note I have my daughters for the night, sleeping like the angels they can sometimes be, lol.

[escapingman]

How are you getting on Gettintired76?

[Gettintired76]

Im not really, I feel hopeless and that I guess everyone is right I'm a worthless f-up everything's my fault and I just need to give up cause I'll never be able to compete with the kids new dad. I just need to give the kids over to him even though I found out he's a three time convicted murderer (background check)

[Gettintired76]

So it's whatever

[escapingman]

I am really sorry that you are going through a touch period. I can't really advice you on what to do, but remember the new guy is in the idealisation period now and will get devalued at some point. If he is a convicted murderer as you say, its likely he is a PD himself and then I guess your ex would not get her supply for long and might be on her way out (if she can escape). Until then, remember it's not you, you were just a victim of a PD and suffered for being a kind and loving person.

All the strength to you!

[Gettintired76]

I have no doubt he is a old, he is on his 4th job in as many months, just out of a homeless shelter an then halfway house. But aside all that the control issue he has goin with my ex. It's all about him whatever he wants it's frightening really.

[Gettintired76]

One thing tho she more or less gave me custody of my 11 yr old daughter, seems she could not sway her to like the guy and and the child  wanted only to be with her Daddy lol she is sleeping peacefully in her bed as we speak waiting on Santa!

[square]

WONDERFUL news, I am so happy!!

Your ex may demand her back sooner or later, though. I don't know what you should do if that's the case, perhaps you can start a new thread to get some input.

Because you would be in a stronger position legally after having custody for a while. I don't see why you would have to hand her back just because ex might demand it.

I know nothing but first please start documenting that you have her - photos, journals, etc. Is she school aged? Become the official contact for the school, your name and phone number, have actual interactions with teachers and staff demonstrating your status as a fully involved parent.

[Gettintired76]

Way ahead of you lol and today she dropped my other 2 off seems she still doesn't have electricity. Sooo I don't know what's going to happen

[square]

I hope you have a good and peaceful time

[escapingman]

I am struggling to follow your story fully, but have you got all you children back at your home now? If so, I am so happy for you.

[Gettintired76]

At the moment all three are with me, however the oldest and youngest are supposed to go back to her this evening. They don't want to tho, nbut at preset I don't have a choice.