PD phone call BINGO

Started by Cat of the Canals, December 05, 2021, 07:49:45 PM

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Cat of the Canals

Talked to PDmom on the phone today. It wasn't so bad, just predictable. So much so that I end up tuning out during most of her spiels, like when she starts ranting about the "a$$hole" of the week. An hour later and I can't remember who this week's a-hole even was.

I told my husband if I made up bingo cards with all of her predictable topics, I guarantee I'd get a bingo every phone call (which I limit to 25-30 minutes max, mind you). We had fun coming up with one for my mom and one for PDmil.

So here's what I've got so far for my "PDmom Phone Call Bingo" card:


  • calling someone an a-hole
  • complaining about one of her neighbors
  • in-depth synopsis of the book she's currently reading
  • recap of volunteer group #1
  • recap of volunteer group #2
  • complaining about my brother
  • golden child comments about my SIL
  • you know what ____ is, dont you? (followed by an explanation even when I say "yes.")
  • any statement of hyperbole
  • comments about how much she pities my aunt
  • political rant
  • melodramatically apologizing for the state of the world, as if she is personally responsible

What's on your PD bingo card?

Leonor

Hi Cat, I'll play:

1. Her next car
2. How much her employees love her
3. How the shop attendant can do a better job
4. How awful ex-husbands are
5. What a special relationship we have
6. What to do with all her clothes
7. What is wrong with left-wing politics
8. How much she loves her vacation homes
9. How wonderful it is that we have such a special relationship when other daughters are so horrid to their mothers
10. How horrible exhusbands are

BINGO



Boat Babe

Omg, I'll play but I have to go to work first. Will be useful for the Xmas period!
It gets better. It has to.

SunnyMeadow

This is great Cat! Here's mine:


1.  My doctor wants me to have a test, I should do it
2.  The vaccines _________
3.  Joe Biden ___________
4.  Dr Fauci ___________
5.  The vaccines part 2 _____________
6.  A neighbor didn't wave at me
7.  I had to call and argue about a bill
8.  I'm on a fixed income
9.  The vaccine part 3 ___________

I'm not going to type what she thinks of these topics because they're very divisive.

Aren't they special?  :blink:




Cat of the Canals

Leonor, I keep chuckling at "her next car." It implies OH so much.  :rofl:

Quote from: SunnyMeadow on December 06, 2021, 09:31:18 AM

6.  A neighbor didn't wave at me
7.  I had to call and argue about a bill


Adding these to my husband's bingo card for PDmil!

Sneezy

I am going to make a bingo card for my DH.  When I am on the phone with mom, and he hears the following, he gets to cover a spot on his bingo card:

1. It's a workday, I can't spend the afternoon at the Dollar Tree.
2. I'm sure there are some nice people in senior living.
3. No, you should never drive again.
4. Ok, fine, figure out how to get yourself to the dealership and buy a car, I don't care.
5. Well, yes, that does sound like quite a few trips to the bathroom.
6. There must be something you like to eat on the menu.  Order a grilled cheese if you have to.
7. It's just a rash, put some cream on it.
8. When you delete a text, you have deleted the picture.  If you want to save the picture, you need to do that first.
9. You don't need your eyebrows waxed.  Nobody needs their eyebrows waxed that often.
10. Don't call your sister if you're just going to fight with her.  Yes, I'm sure it's all her fault.  Just stop calling her.

Andeza

While I'm NC, I think this is a good reminder:

1. Health Problem A
2. Health Problem B
3. Health Problem C
4. Nobody's on my side
5. Nobody loves me
6. Your father doesn't give me enough alimony (it's like five times what's normal)
7. My family aren't being nice to me (gee I wonder why)
8. Politics
9. Doctor visits (yes, plural)
10. Fell again, still not using the cane.
11. I could have had children! ( :mad:)
Remember, that there are no real deadlines for life, just society's pressures.      - Anonymous
Lasting happiness is not something we find, but rather something we make for ourselves.

SunnyMeadow

Quote from: Sneezy on December 06, 2021, 10:20:47 AM
I am going to make a bingo card for my DH.  When I am on the phone with mom, and he hears the following, he gets to cover a spot on his bingo card:

;D this seriously made me laugh out loud!

LavenderLime

This post made me smile - thanks!! Here's the start of my card:

-a friend's health problem in detail
-her dog's health problems in detail
-her list of dr's appointments
-complain about a neighbor
-a tale about how she's the only one doing something kind for  _____ (fill in the blank)
-responding to something I say about my kids with something I did or she did as a child
-ask me if I still like _______ like I did when I was a kid
-who did her wrong or has it out for her this time
-complain about my kids not calling her or texting her back

Boat Babe

It gets better. It has to.

moglow

#10
My bingo card was filled almost every phone call and in the same sequence:
Comment how long (and would provide the date!) since my last call
Her excruciating knee pain
She's not getting around wellI have no idea what she's dealing with (didn't elaborate when asked for more information)
You/I dont care about anyone but your/myself
She heard from (names brother, last contact from them)
She hasn't heard from (names brother) in so long
Why it's somehow my fault whoever hasn't contacted her
What is that dog barking at now
There's a car turning around in her driveway
She needs to let dog out
Attempts to deflect to actual conversation were ignored. She'd cycle through her topics and the call was over, would cut me off mid sentence when her limit was reached.

BINGO!
"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
"Expectations are disappointments under construction." ~Capn Spanky, The Nook circa 2005ish

JustKat

I love this! I'll play:

1. My latest health problem is...
2.Your father won't give me enough money for...
3. Your father spends too much money on...
4. Your father's a hypochondriac. I'm the one who's sick with...
5. As President of the Homeowners Association, I'm in charge of...
6. As a volunteer at the police station, I'm in charge of...
7. Your GC brother is so successful he's buying...
8. Your GC brother's wife is so evil she did...
9. Your sister is so ugly/stupid/worthless she failed at...
10. Did I mention that I'm sick with (   ) and may even die?

My mother died before COVID. I can only imagine what I would have heard in 2021.

Cat of the Canals

Quote from: moglow on December 08, 2021, 01:13:02 PM
Comment how long (and would provide the date!) since my last call

I need to add my mom's version of this to my card. It's usually something along the lines of answering my call with, "Oh, it's ACTUALLY YOU." The implication being that she can't believe I'm actually calling, because I never do.   :roll:

Cat of the Canals

Husband is on the phone with PDmil as I type this, and I realize I need to take Sneezy's idea and make myself a card for his calls. I already know my first square will be that he gets out a single word at the beginning of the call ("Hey.") and then goes silent for at least 30 seconds because she's already grabbed the reins of the conversation and is off to the races. HE CALLED HER!

square

It used to be that every phone call my H made to his mother started wxactly like this:

H: Hi mom.
MIL: (blows out a MASSIVE sigh of disappointment). You were supposed to call last Sunday.
H: Yeah, sorry mom.

And from there I would just hear "yeah.... sorry about that mom.... I know.... Yeah.... Sorry...." for like five damn minutes until she moved on to her health and whatever else.

All phone calls lasted as long as SHE wanted. If he said he had to go, which was hard by itself getting a word in edgewise, she would take her SWEET time wrapping it up.

If she felt rushed to end the call, she would SCHEDULE another call for tomorrow night. And that call will also last as long as she wants (usually one hour to an hour and a half). So he would usually just suffer rather than double the agony.

He now only does 2-3 calls a year, wonder why? She stopped the five minutes of skewering him at the beginning (after he told her how it made him call less not more) but it still lasts as long as she likes and getting her off is Olympic work. I usually do something like shout DINNER! or DD NEEDS YOUR HELP WITH HOMEWORK!! eventually (really loud so it interrupts her flow). Even then, a full five minutes to wrap it up. (Note, my shouts are always totally made up lol).

And after a call with her, he is usually just kind of reeling. I feel like most people wouldn't get why - the call will seem pleasant enough. But wxhausting, because she is like a steamroller, and you always have to kind of check everything you say lest you fall into some trap, and it's also not really a conversation. And it lasts sooooo loooong.

Cat of the Canals

Yep to all of that, square. The first words he utters after a call with her are almost always, "She is so insane." and then "I tried to get off the phone thirty minutes ago."

moglow

 :yeahthat: Yep, all of that. Even when the call doesnt last long, it can be exhausting.

One of the last things I said to mine was a deadpanned, always a joy to hear from you mother. 🙄
"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
"Expectations are disappointments under construction." ~Capn Spanky, The Nook circa 2005ish

Call Me Cordelia

#17
NC since 2017 but feeling a bit of the holly-wobbles, so I’ll play too.

-“Hello, stranger!” or “It’s so good to hear your voice,” guilt trip for not calling as much as they would want. Phone works both ways, dad.
-Not being able to get a word in edgewise about my own life or the grandkids.
-Digs against their wildly inaccurate caricature of my politics.
-“I’m so indispensable at my job that teenagers are also hired to do and I’ve only been doing a short time. Seriously it’s a miracle they kept the lights on in that place before I arrived.”
-OR “I need to quit. The pay isn’t worth the stress of running that place.”
-Either way, I should also stop being a SAHM and homeschooling to work for minimum wage.
-This other kid the same age as my son. She’s helped him so much and his family is so grateful to her.
-Too busy to visit.
-Her life is so stressful.
-They wish they could see us more.
-We just took a day off to do nothing or visit these other people.
-Her health problems, curiously similar to mine but oh so much worse.
-They’re so broke.
-“I work so hard I treated myself to a shopping spree.”
-Attempting to offload junk I don’t want on me.
-Withholding stuff I do want.
-Complaints about my siblings and their SO’s.
-Excessive detail of his workout routine and how cool the other folks at the gym think he is.
-Quasi locally famous person at the gym gets name dropped.
-“I ran into your ex boyfriend.”
-Refers to my husband by ex’s name.
-Avoids calling my kids by the names we have given them.
-I try again to share something going on with ME. “Well, I’ll let you go… (heavy sigh)”


I would do it deliberately by the end! For all of you stuck on the phone, the golden key is to insist on talking about YOU. :evil2:

serenitycalm

This is all so wonderful, I'm laughing so much I had to stop trying to eat while reading.

------------

Email bingo, easily could have been on phone:

The stray cats they are feeding are having kittens on porch, they could ask local cat rescue for help but *yadda yadda yadda*

Hopes the ex divorced years ago is suffering

Fell/tripped/is sick. Injured, even bloody. (but has excellent health insurance, never bothered to tell me the rest of the stories, even when asked)

Something is "disgusting"

Better at most everything and most everyone is somehow out to get them

Something is broken, sick, limping, plugged, malfunctioning, criminal, dangerous, overwhelming, crowded, and mysteriously usually unfixable


Cat of the Canals

Quote from: Call Me Cordelia on December 09, 2021, 02:37:41 AM
-Excessive detail of his workout routine and how cool the other folks at the gym think he is.

REALLY?????? 🤣