I am exhausted

[SonofThunder]

EM, so glad to read that your vacation was enjoyable.  I surely understand any PD's use of circumstances to try and manipulate to their advantage.  Are you continuing to document all the activities that are occurring and creating a timeline, so that when looking back, you may be able to connect the dots of potential timely manipulation by your stbx through your children? 

Hopefully also, DD will remain in full control and free ownership of her own feelings and desires and say no when she desires to say no, but also say yes, when she desires.  Boundaries are so very powerful and from her past string self-protective actions/reactions, hopefully DD will continue to protect herself to allow her to be true to who SHE is.  But also, to understand that her sister may be encouraged by STBX, who may sadly attempt a sister-reconciliation at a coerced period of time that fits the stbx-needed timeline well, because of the upcoming decisions from SW and a hearing. 

We can surely teach the toolbox methods to others without using terms that apply to disorders or Out of the FOG.  Imo, boundaries is a term that stands in its own and can be taught using the term itself and is good for young people to learn proper self-protective boundaries, as they will have to deal with difficult situations and people their entire lives, in all types of places, such as work, school, sports, family etc.

SoT

[Whoops]

I too will feel shadows of my soon to be ex's bad conduct  toward me in my late teen child. I used to worry that they would end up emotionally abusive like him.  I usually try to wait, but not too long, to say that you behaved inappropriately. I want my child to be emotionally cooler, but I don't want them to have set into the idea the conduct was fine. My child will always apologize and I feel like it is working to help build a better understanding of how to treat the people we love.  IT is as others say, rinse and repeat. Our goal really is to make sure they mature on the right path, versus be there already!

[escapingman]

I had a nightmare last night, STBX had managed to lure me back together. In the dream she was as always doing changes in the house and I was desperately finding a way to get out. Huh. Glad that was just a dream.

I shared a bit on social media, got some replies but not unexpectedly am offer to listen to my problems by someone I think is a communal narc heavily involved in church. I am going to think about how I play that one as he and his wife knows everyone in church and that includes alot of people knowing STBX and MIL.

[Poison Ivy]

I'm glad that was just a dream, too, escapingman.

Keep in mind what many people say about social media: "If it's on the internet, it isn't private." Also this: "Don't say anything online that you wouldn't want plastered on a billboard with your face on it."

[escapingman]

Poison, I am using social media as a strategy in all this. I would only post things I can allow to get out in public, to be honest that's most things.....

I think I am getting back into the church group as that could give me allies quick. I am not really a believer but we quit church because STBX couldn't handle the social aspect of it.

[Poison Ivy]

I'm on your side, escapingman. I hope you can find more allies among people who live close to you.